As much as we backpackers like to hate the Lonely Planet guidebooks, the fact is, we would be lost without them. I had to admit this after flailing around in India my first week. I wanted to purchase a guidebook before I came to India, but no bookstore, street vendor or photocopy bookseller in Ha Noi sold any books on India. A bookstore at the airport in Singapore sold one for $50. That was too expensive, I'd wing it.
I chose Bangalore as my port of entry into India, for one simple reason – cheap airfare. A ticket from Ha Noi to Bangalore, on TigerAirways, was just $240, whereas a ticket to anywhere else was over $1000. What I didn't know was that hotels in Bangalore are quite expensive. So at the last minute, I was able to arrange a place to stay with two guys thru couchsurfing.com. Dilip & Krishna are two really great guys and I enjoyed the time I spent at their place. One night they had a party, and I got to meets lots of people and see how modern Indians party. They love classic rock, especially Pink Floyd.
Bangalore is huge, although they say it is small compared to Delhi. I stayed in an area called JP Nagar, several kilometers from the city center. The auto rickshaw drivers claim it is 16 kilometers to MG Road in the city center. But I had no guidebook, no map, no nothing. To complicate matters, all bus information & street signs are written in Kanada, a language with a script completely different from Hindi. My attempt at learning the Hindi alphabet, when I was in Vietnam, was pointless.
One day I decided to go to MG Road to see what's there. I walked out to Outer Ring Road and approached a rickshaw. The driver told me 200 Rs ($4.34). I said 60 Rs ($1.30). He said 160 Rs ($3.48). I asked for the bus stop. He pointed me in the direction of the bus stop. I may have passed the bus stop, but since nothing is written in English, I wasn't sure. So I kept walking. Some 3 hours later, after a couple wrong turns, I finally arrived on MG Road. I'm not sure what I was expecting. It is basically a street with lots of stores and street sellers. One guy decided that I needed to buy a toy helicopter. I had a difficult time convincing him that the price was not the problem, that I just didn't want a helicopter. This scene was repeated a few minutes later with drums, then books. If you don't want what they're selling, it is best to pretend you don't see or hear them when they approach you.
It was getting late in the afternoon, and I wanted to get back before dark. So I got my nerves together and approached a rickshaw. The driver said 150 Rs ($3.26). I said let's go with the meter. He said the meter is broken. I turned to the next driver. His meter worked, so I went with him. From the start, I knew this was a mistake. He took the most circuitous route, but without a map, I couldn't say anything. When we arrived, the meter had ticked up to 117 Rs ($2.54). Then he tells me some cockamamie story about the 150% rule, that I have to pay him 180 Rs ($3.91). In truth, they can charge 150% of the meter after 9 pm, but this was 5 pm. I caved, to avoid an argument over $1.37, and paid. He gave me his number and told me to call him anytime I need a ride! Sucker.
After several days, I needed to get out of Bangalore. Mysore is a place I kept hearing people talking about. They say it is very beautiful, but never really say why. So I jumped on the 86 Rs bus to Mysore. One thing I quickly learned in Mysore is that if some random guy on the street decides to be your friend, you're going to have to pay him to go away. I was looking for a gym when this guy, who speaks no English, approached me, and in keeping with Asian tradition, asked if I wanted a woman. But then he wouldn't go away. He decides to tag along and be my friend. Ok, fine. But after a while walking down the street arm in arm with a half drunken man gets tiring.
We ran into two Muslim guys, who spoke English. They told me I shouldn't talk to drunk guys on the street, that I should come with them. They know where a gym is. Then they started talking about massage oils and cannabis. Which is better? Being stuck with one guy who wants money just to follow me around town or being stuck with two guys who will eventually want to be paid for something or the other? I chose the former, ditched him in a store and resumed my search for a gym.
I had been walking around town for a few hours trying to find a gym when I passed by a movie theater. I had been told that when in India, you must see a Bollywood movie. Maybe I should just forget about finding a gym and watch a movie. At the ticket window, I was told that it was a Kanada movie, with no English subtitles. No problem. I paid my 15 Rs and fumbled in the dark trying to find a seat. This will be a great exercise in trying to find the plot, using visual cues, body language and tone of voice.
At first, the scenes alternated between a man having dialogs with several different people, almost like interviews, and him drinking and making out with a woman. During these make-out scenes, they would occasionally show her legs, and there would be whistles and shouts from the viewers. I was certain this was not Bollywood and began to wonder about the nature of this film. Then he has a dialog with his doctor, apparently about some test results. Maybe this movie is a public service film about sexually transmitted diseases.
Then he finds a nice young lady and gets married. Her family is happy, and he takes her to meet, I assume, his family. He introduces his bride to a rather large pampered woman who turns up her nose and sends his bride to the bedroom crying. An older man comes into the room and puts the moves on her. She runs out and complains, but the large woman just laughs and sends her back to the room, where she was raped. At this point, I have no idea where this is going. And the whistling of the viewers seem to be random. Then the movie dropped all pretensions of a plot, and the woman is seen in one nude sex scene after another until the doors open, and aroused patrons start filing out of the auditorium.
Ok..... It is time to buy a Lonely Planet guidebook! There is a lot of beauty in India, and I obviously need help finding it before my six months run out.
